We often say that one of the most important roles of a project manager and leader is to be able to communicate effectively. Being the hub of the project, the PM communicates with team members, stakeholders, end users and the project sponsor – all of whom have different preferences for how they would like to be communicated with. Some people prefer email and written status reports whereas others favour telephone and face-to-face interactions. At times there’s a great need to delve into the detail and at other times it’s all about the big picture. 
 
One of the most important questions you can ask your stakeholder is: “how would you like me to communicate with you? And how would you like me to escalate issues to you?” Many people default to the same way of communicating with everyone, or they adjust their approach based on what they believe the stakeholder would like. Why not ask the question directly? 
 
Communication is a vast topic and it’s not all that easy to get it right. In this post we take a look at the four levels of communication – a tool that will help you become more transformational in your interactions with others and to deepen your communication. 
 
Irrespective of who you are communicating with, or the means you are using, there are four basic levels of communication: content, procedure, interactions and feelings. To be an effective communicator you need to be able to access all of the levels at the right time and not just stay at the content level. Let’s examine each level in turn.

​I. Content and topic
When we communicate at a content level the focus of our communication is the topic being discussed. On a project this means that we would talk about the tasks that need to get done and the issues that need to be resolved. We draw in facts and figures, discuss the pros and cons, ask questions and give our point of view. This is the level that most project managers communicate at most of the time – and the level that they are most comfortable with. That seems to make sense. Talking about tasks, facts and logic should be firmly within the project manager’s comfort zone. After all, a project manager needs to make sure that the work gets done and that issues are resolved in an effective manner. 

II. Procedure and structure
The second level is the procedure level. When we communicate at this level we discuss the structural aspects of the topic and the process of getting something done. It’s about time, duration, sequence, control points, and roles and responsibilities. Procedure is immensely important on a project and it’s hard to imagine that people who cannot access this level will get anywhere far in project management. Just consider the project initiation document. It’s largely about the procedures and controls behind the project, and how we will ensure that the project gets delivered. There are probably a few project situations, where the procedure level is not as prominent as it should be – for instance when we close out the project. At this point we don't always pay sufficient attention to the structural aspects of why the project was or was not delivered according to plan.

III. Interactions and behaviour
The interaction level goes deeper than the two previous levels. Here it’s about how team members deal with one another, which can be quite challenging for the average project manager to address. At this level we set expectations – not about what needs to get done and the processes we will use – but about how we will work together. This is about verbalising the behaviours between people and how we act towards each other. This level isn’t just important when the project starts up and the team is formed, but throughout the project’s life cycle. If team members aren’t treating each other the way they initially agreed, or if they are not collaborating effectively, it’s necessary to address it properly and talk it through. 

IV. Emotions and feelings 
The last of the four levels of communication is the emotional level where we express how we are feeling in certain situations and enquire about what’s going on for our team members or stakeholders. This is often the most difficult level for project managers to access because they haven’t been trained or educated in how to communicate about emotions. You might think that the emotional level isn’t relevant to project management, but it’s worth remembering that it’s people who deliver projects – not processes. And whenever people are involved there are also emotions. We don’t leave our emotions at home in the morning. We bring them with us to work. For project managers to be truly effective at engaging the team and building strong relationships with stakeholders they need to be able to communicate at this deeper level.

What level do you communicate at?
Many project managers make the mistake that they solely talk about content at level one when seeking to influence others, predominantly using logic and rational arguments. They may at times go to the structural level, as projects naturally involve a fair amount of processes, but very rarely will they talk about behaviours or even feelings at level three or four. Many think that they have to be as rational and business-like as possible, but they are missing the trick. We need to be able to access the deeper levels when required. Let’s look at some different project situations and how you can effectively use the four levels to go deeper into a conversation.

Example: Project kick-off
During a kick off meeting it’s custom to talk about project goals and what needs to get done. Hopefully there will also be a fair amount of discussion about time frames and roles and responsibilities. But to kick the project off on the best foot, there also has to be discussions about the ground rules and how team members would like to work with one another. 
 
Level I –­ “It’s pretty exciting that we finally get to start this project. We have already talked about the deliverables. I’d like to spend a bit more time explaining the benefits and why this is such an important initiative for our firm.”
 
Level II – “Which collaborative tools would you like us to use? Who will make sure that we get the communication platform up and running by next week?
 
Level III – “I would like all of you to write down one ground rule for how you would like us to work together on this project. This could be any type of behaviour that you feel is important for a well functioning team.
 
Level IV – “How do you guys feel about the project? Is there anything else we need to consider to make you fully motivated?”
 
Example: Building stakeholder relationships
Managing stakeholders is a big part of any project managers job. Consider for a moment some of the stakeholders, or clients, that you need to influence and win the support of. How do you approach them and what do you talk to them about? You could for instance touch all four levels in this way:
 
Level I –­ “Thank you for taking the time to meet and talk about the project. Let me first explain what the project is all about and what the main requirements are to date. I’d love your feedback on whether you think we’ve missed anything out.”
 
Level II – “I’d like to discus the governance of the project and your specific role. Given your expertise we would like you to sit on the steering committee where you will represent the user community. The steering committee will meet once a month. Is that ok with you?”
 
Level III – “Can we agree that if you come across any issues you will raise them with me first? Then we can find a way to resolve it between us. From your side, how would you like me to escalate any issues to you?”
 
Level IV – “John, I get the sense that you are frustrated about the level of input we require from you on this project. Is that right? Your support is really important to us so what can we do to make this easier for you?”
 
Example: Delegating a task
Delegating work is something that all project managers have to do. Below is an example of how to use all levels of communication.
 
Level I –­ “Stuart, I would like you to run the next steering committee meeting whilst I’m on holiday. It will be a good opportunity for you, as you will get a chance to highlight all the good work that your team has done in the last month. 
 
Level II – “You can use the slide deck that I used last time. I suggest that you don't change the sequence of the slides, but add new slides about your team’s achievements at the end. I’m happy to review them and give you feedback before I go.”
 
Level III – “In which ways would you like us to work together to get this done? What do you need from me?”
 
Level IV – “How do you feel about this opportunity? I know that you were quite nervous last time and I want to make sure that I give you the support you need to make this a good experience?”
 
 
Example: Giving feedback during a performance review
The final example is one where the project manager gives feedback to a team member. It’s important not just to stay at the surface but to also delve into behaviours and feelings.
 
Level I –­ “You’ve performed really well on this project Laura. You’ve delivered most of your assignments on time and the quality has been exceptionally high. I’m particularly impressed that you took the PMP exam during our most busy period.”
 
Level II – “I’m also really happy with how well you manage your personal time. I know that you always write a to-do list before you leave the office in the evening, and that’s definitely one to continue with.” 
 
Level III – “One area where I feel there is room for improvement is your contribution to our team meetings. I would like you to speak up more and to share your views. What can we do to make it easier for you to contribute?
 
Level IV – “Laura, I feel that you sometimes hold back because you are afraid to be judged. You need to know that your input is really valuable and that I see you as a long-term member of the team. How do you feel about it?”
 
Summary – The four levels that we can communicate at are content, procedure, interactions and feelings. To influence stakeholders and lead a team in the most effective way, it’s necessary to make use of all four levels. Many managers and leaders have a tendency to communicate at a content level or a procedure level. They are not aware of how transformational it can be to also talk about behaviours and feelings in a professional setting. 

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Congratulations on your PHD Karine! Tell us about your research and what the main findings were. 

Thank you Susanne. Completing a PhD can be a real challenge, but it can also be a very rewarding experience! 
 
My study focuses on how coaching is used as part of talent management programmes within a global bank. Nowadays, coaching is widely used in large organisations as part of talent management and leadership development programmes. A recent study from the International Coaching Federation (2020) revealed that the global coaching industry is valued around $3 billion, which shows the extent of the corporate investment into coaching. My study analysed the views of talented employees from junior to executive levels, HR managers, internal and external coaches involved in talent management programmes. The findings revealed that coaching is experienced as a pivotal career event, yet it is a complex practice which is difficult to implement, especially when delivered internally by senior business leaders.
 
In which ways did your findings confirm your theory and in which ways were you surprised?

In my study, I drew on the social exchange theory and the psychological contract to explain how people develop long term reciprocal relationships (social exchange theory) and how coaching affects the set of un-written mutual expectations between the talented employee and the organisation (psychological contract). 
 
One of the most surprising findings is that coaching symbolises the talent status: it confirms to employees that they are identified as ‘talent’, typically defined as a combination of high-potential and high-performance attributes. As such, talent coaching contributes to strengthen the psychological contract between talented employees and the organisation. For example, talented employees would expect a clear career path and a fast-track advancement. Yet, they recognise that coaching does not guarantee career progression due to other factors such as economic downturn, strategic change and internal politics. Nevertheless, talent coaching is seen as critical for personal development, internal visibility and networking. Also, it represents a unique opportunity to establish strong ties with senior leaders, especially for less experienced talents. 
 
Based on your research, what are the biggest opportunities and benefits of talent coaching? 

Coaching used in the context of talent management can be pivotal for organisations gearing towards leadership change and the development of a coaching culture. By embedding coaching in talent management programmes, individuals and organisations may benefit from the positive ripple effects of coaching, such as motivating employees to adopt a coaching leadership style with their teams and direct reports. Further, from an organisational perspective, talent coaching may be deployed to develop the breadth of management skills of its future leaders and build a coaching culture. 
 
How can these benefits best be measured?

This is a great question, which is still being debated by practitioners and academics. Existing studies on corporate coaching have attempted to evaluate its benefits in terms of return on investment (ROI). However, quantitative approaches of evaluation often focus on short-term performance, which does not account for the long-term effect and value of coaching at individual, organisational and societal levels. We need to evaluate coaching in organisations in a holistic way to capture its many knock-on effects on the quality of relationships and collaboration, which in turn may support organisational growth. Some alternative approaches to evaluate the impact of coaching may include aspects such as employee engagement, wellbeing and corporate culture.
 
What are some of the pitfalls that managers need to be aware of when investing in talent coaching?

My study participants’ opinions converge on one critical point: “Coaching is not a panacea”. Not everybody wants or needs coaching. Also, ethical concerns may emerge when talent coaching is delivered by internal coaches or HR managers. For instance, individuals being coached may develop career goals which do not align with the organisation, which leaves the internal coach wondering how do I handle this information? Also, when a junior talent is coached by a senior business leader, this can put the junior talent in a awkward situation asking themselves: ’how honest can I be without jeopardising my future career?’. Power and influence are critical dimensions at play in talent coaching. If overlooked, negative outcomes may emerge from talent coaching relationships. So, to avoid the pitfalls of ethical concerns, adequate coaching training and supervision are essential, particularly for internal coaches. 
 
Which other tips do you have for managers who want talent coaching to generate results for themselves and their teams? 
​
In addition to the need for coaching training and supervision mentioned earlier, coaching readiness is an important factor for successful talent coaching. This involves approaching coaching with an open mindset, curiosity and willingness to discuss difficult leadership situations in a safe learning environment with a coach. Trust is paramount in the talent coaching relationship. Finally, it seems that talented employees would benefit from considering coaching not only as a one-to-one short-term intervention as part of a talent programme, but more as an opportunity to establish long-term relationships with senior leaders, increase their visibility and learn the ropes of career progression from their coach. 

Whenever I train, coach or consult in project management, it always surprises me how few people plan in a truly collaborative manner. I’ve trained senior project professionals with fifteen to twenty years of experience who don’t appreciate the importance of fully engaging the team in the planning process. They see it as the project manager’s responsibility to plan, and forget that today’s workforce wants to be involved in the work it’s expected to deliver. Many project managers only involve the team as and when needed. But that approach is extremely poor at creating a team that’s committed and united around a common goal. Instead, it creates a group of individuals who work in silos and are focused on completing their own individual tasks. ​

Step 4 – Create the timeline
The fourth step is to prepare the schedule for the high-level plan. Start by putting a timeline across the top of your whiteboard or flipchart paper, flowing from left to right. Use more sticky notes to illustrate the different months of the plan. Then place the categories, or work stream headers, down the left-hand side of your chart. You can now create a grid consisting of horizontal and vertical “swim lanes”. The grid will make it easier to place tasks onto the schedule within the correct month and work stream. 

Step 5 – Place tasks onto the schedule
The next step is to transfer the individual tasks onto the schedule based on dependencies. Start by placing the sticky note containing the end deliverable onto the right-hand side of the chart. Then transfer all the tasks, one by one. Tasks that can be completed relatively early are placed towards the left and items that can be completed later are on the right. This is a very dynamic process where team members discuss where, ideally, this task needs to happen on the timeline. As they place the sticky notes, they should take into account dependencies, as some tasks naturally need to happen before others. Dependencies can be indicated with a marker pen between post-its.​

At the end of this step you will have produced a high-level plan showing when each task and activity can be completed in relation to one another. At this stage, when you don’t yet have all the detailed information, it’s ok to make assumptions and to use approximate durations. The collaborative planning process is a springboard to more in-depth planning conversations later on.

Step 6 – Identify milestones 
Now that the high-level plan is in place it is time to identify the milestones. Choose a new colour sticky notes and identify six to twelve milestones. Milestones are tasks with zero duration that indicate an important achievement in the project. They are used to indicate movement and progress and are useful for stakeholder communication and for reporting upwards.

Step 7 - Assign owners 
The last step of the collaborative planning process is to assign ownership to each task and milestone on the chart. Each sticky note should have one owner who is accountable for moving the task forward. The owner may or may not be the person actually doing the work. Irrespective, it is the person who is accountable for it. 

The end result of the collaborative planning process is a high-level plan, with dependencies, milestones and ownership, built by the team. Each person now needs go to away and validate that the tasks they are accountable for can actually happen at the indicated dates. The beauty of this approach is that because the plan has been built collaboratively, team members are much more likely to commit to it. The plan will also help you to communicate clearly with stakeholders, as a one-page milestone plan may be all that they need.
 
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​Larry King, the legendary US television and radio host who passed away at the age of 87, had an unquestionable talent for making his interview subjects the true stars of his programs. He was known for asking short and uncomplicated questions and letting his curiosity guide the conversations.
 
Working in broadcasting as a radio and television host is undoubtedly different to the kind of job that most project managers and leaders get to perform. But a recent interview with Larry King revealed exactly how good he was at building trust and making people open up – something that managers and leaders can and should learn from. 

Larry King performed 50,000 interviews in his career with people from all walks of life, including world leaders, celebrities and everyday people. He began as a DJ and radio interviewer in Miami in 1957 and went on to have a nightly TV show on CNN for 25 years. 
 
Be curious and ask non-judgmental questions
In Larry King’s own words his success came down to his ability to be in the present moment and to not worry about the next question he would ask. He simply let his curiosity for the person he was interviewing guide him. His endless curiosity was a trait he developed as a child when he realised that it was helping him to learn. He said that if you love what you do and trust yourself then you’re able to relax and be in the present moment. You have to let your passion and your curiosity work for you even if that means taking a risk. If you’re too rigid and try to follow a script, you will lose the ability to use your intuition and follow the cues that come up in a conversation. 
 
On asking questions, King said that we have to ask them without being judgmental. If we want to learn and get a person to open up, then we simply have to follow our curiosity, be sincere in our interest for the other person and put ourselves in their shoes. The questions themselves don’t have to be complicated – sometimes the simple ones are the most powerful. For instance “what happened?” But it’s surprising how many people don’t ask enough questions and therefore don’t learn. Try to go through your day and notice how many people are telling instead of asking. Larry King reminded us that no one ever learnt anything from telling. 
 
Walk in the shoes of your stakeholder
There are many situations from everyday project-life where you might be in need of asking better questions, being curious and putting yourself in the other person's shoes – for instance when you want to:

• Build a strong working relationship with a stakeholder
• Resolve an issue or a conflict
• Gather requirements from a client or a user
• Motivate and coach a team member

 
Projects are full of stakeholders, but as project managers we don't necessarily have a close and collaborative relationship with them. Perhaps some of them are too senior for us to feel that we can comfortably approach them. Or perhaps they come across as critical towards the projects or are not forthcoming because they are busy with other priorities. The result is that we often hold ourselves back approaching them, which can lead to a distant or formal relationship. The only way to build a close working relationship with someone is to spend time with them – be curious, ask non-judgmental questions and try to walk in their shoes. 
 
Most stakeholders will be happy to spend a bit of time with you if they feel that it benefits them too. How can you make sure that a one-to-one meeting benefits the stakeholders too? By giving them your full attention, listening intently and by addressing their concerns. Some of the simple, yet powerful questions you might ask could be: 

• What are your thoughts about the project?
• What would you like the outcomes to be?
• Which concerns do you have?
• How would you like me to communicate with you?
• How can we make best use of your contributions?
• What else?

 
But it’s not enough to ask great questions. Listening is as important. When you meet with someone, try to listen at the highest possible level, which we could call global listening. This is where you have emptied your own mind and are no longer listening to your own internal dialogue or trying to figure out what to say next. Not only are you fully focused on the person you are speaking with, you are also using your intuition to pick up cues and allowing your curiosity to guide the conversation. That’s what Larry King was so good at.
 
Motivate and coach a team member
In a similar way to how you would engage a stakeholder with curiosity and great questions, there is a need to unpack situations and build better working relationships with team members. Perhaps you are conscious that some team members know more about a topic than you do. Or the other way around: perhaps they are novices and you feel you need to instruct them. In both cases there is an inequality in the relationship, which can easily create barriers and hinder trust. 
 
The challenge for many project managers is to be non-judgmental and to put their assumptions aside – especially if they are trying to get to the bottom of an issue. If you think about it, we often enter into a conversation with pre-conceived ideas about what the other person does/does not know, what they can/cannot do, and what they have/have not done. If we follow Larry King’s example we need to put our curiosity-hat on and simply enquire with an open mind and an open heart. Try some of the following questions to open up a conversation and trying to resolve an issue:

• ​What happened?
• Tell me about the issue
• Can you explain that in more detail?
• What do you think needs to happen?
• What’s the ultimate objective?
• What’s the real challenge here?
• How have you tried to improve it?
• What are the pros and cons of each option?
• How can I help?​

 
If you have a situation where you’re speaking to a subject matter expert, and would like to know more about the contents of a specific piece of work, try to ask:

• Can you talk me through the feature we’re trying to build?
• What makes it important?
• What makes it challenging?
• What do we need to watch out for in getting it right?
• What is the most complex aspect for you?
• What are the risks associated with this?
• In the worst-case scenario, how long will it take you?
• And in the best-case scenario?
• Who can help?
• How shall we keep each other updated?

 
But perhaps you neither wish to resolve an issue, nor extract information about a task from a subject matter expert. Perhaps you would simply like to get to know a team member better and build a stronger working relationship with them. In that case experiment with some of these questions:

• What’s going on at the moment?
• How are you feeling?
• What concerns do you have?
• How stretched do you feel at the moment?
• What support to you need?
• How can we better use your strengths?
• How often would you like us to check in with each other?
• What are your thoughts on how we could work more effectively?
• What else?

 
 
Summary
With over 50,000 interviews, Larry King knew how to make a person open op during a conversation. His advice was that we ask open, non-judgmental questions and that we let our curiosity and interest for the other person steer the conversation. The trick is to be fully present and listen at the highest possible level. By doing so, the person you’re speaking to opens up and you create the opportunity to learn something new. Project managers and leaders can make use of his advice in most of the interactions they have – from building trust with a stakeholder and resolving issues to liaising with a subject matter expert and motivating a team member. 

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​

The most fundamental aspect of leading others is to first understand the factors that impact your own behavior. By appreciating and learning about the basic human needs that govern the choices you make, not only will you better understand yourself, you will also better understand the people you lead.
 
Some managers are still of the belief that a few common incentives motivate people – such as money and status – but research shows that we are motivated by a variety of factors and are not as easily swayed as some think. 

According to psychologist Chloé Madanes, our behaviour is motivated by the fulfilment of six human needs that go beyond desires and wants. Everybody has these six needs, but the order in which we prioritize them varies from person to person. Our most dominant two needs will determine the choices we make and the action we take, as they are the underlying drivers for achievement. Although these six needs persist throughout life, their relative priority may vary from situation to situation and can change over time. 

The six human needs are Certainty, Variety, Significance, Connection, Growth and Contribution. 

1. Certainty
We all have a need for certainty, safety, stability and predictability in our lives. We like to feel secure in our jobs, in our homes and in our relationships. We want to avoid pain and we want assurances that our basic needs are being met. Some people pursue this need for certainty by striving to control all aspects of their lives, including the projects they run and the people who work for them. They want to be as certain as possible that things work out the way they planned and that people do as expected and complete their assignments by the agreed deadline. When we lack certainty we tend to panic and get stressed. When things get too certain, however, we feel bored and demotivated.

2. Variety
Another human need – which opposes the first one – is the need for variety and uncertainty. At the same time as we want certainty, we also crave change, excitement and new stimuli. Variety makes us feel alive and engaged. Many project managers work in change management because of the inherent variety it provides. Projects are temporary by nature, and the uncertainty is for the most part tolerable because we know when the project is expected to end and what might happen afterwards. Too much uncertainty, however, will bring us fear, while not enough will cause boredom. So the first two needs are pieces of the same pie. If your need for certainty is 70 per cent, your need for variety will be only 30 per cent. People with a big need for variety may come across as risk-takers and may also seek out conflict and crisis situations to make them feel alive.

3. Significance
Deep down, we all need to feel important, unique and special. We want our life and our work to have meaning, importance and significance. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be to work on a project that is not needed and no one cares about. We can fulfil our need for significance and importance in many ways, positive as well as negative. One vehicle is by becoming a high achiever or by having many people report to us because it makes us feel important, special and wanted. That may also show up as being overly competitive and performance driven. Another, rather poor way to get this need satisfied is to put other people down and to elevate ourselves so that we feel we are better than others. We can also signal our uniqueness and difference through particular clothes or unusual hobbies.

4. Connection
Everybody strives for a level of connection and affiliation with people around them and wants to feel part of a larger community. We want to be loved and cared for and we want a feeling of closeness or union with like-minded people – be it friends, family, colleagues, members of a club or an online community. The need for love and connection is based on blending in and wanting to belong and be similar to others in the group. In some ways we could say that it’s the opposite of significance. If we are 100 per cent connected and part of a team, a project or a culture, we are likely to be encroaching on our need for significance and uniqueness, and vice versa. Many project managers feel this conflict in that they want to be part of the team community, but at the same token they need to differentiate themselves and stand out as the leader of the pack.

5. Growth
As human beings we all have a need to grow and expand in our personal and professional lives. Many people’s goal is to reach a certain position, a financial target or a particular lifestyle, but when they get there, they become stagnant and unhappy because they are no longer growing. They have reached a plateau, and although there are no apparent reasons for why they need to learn and develop, they have an intrinsic desire for doing so. People are most happy when they feel they are making progress. We all need something to strive for, something that will challenge us to grow and expand emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially and intellectually.

6. Contribution
The sixth human need is the desire to make a difference and to contribute to a greater good. This is the need to help, serve and support someone or something bigger than ourselves in a meaningful way. As human beings we have a desire to contribute something of value, whether that is manifested through community, family, society or the project work that we do. Some projects have a very worthy cause and may help to make the world a better place to live, or at least they will have an impact on someone or something else. But when we are head-down managing the detail, we may not always see it. Very few people are mindful of how this aspect can help fulfil one of their most basic needs.

According to Madanes, the way to lasting satisfaction and fulfilment is through the last three needs: the need for connection, growth and contribution. If we attempt to reach fulfilment through certainty, variety and significance alone, we will fall short. The problem with a high reliance on certainty is that no matter how much we seek to control our surroundings, we will never be able to gain complete certainty, as we live in a world of constant change. The issue with significance is that no matter where we look, we will always be able to find someone who is more significant than us. If we let out need for significance dominant we end up as managers who are more concerned with personal reputation than adding value to the client.
 
The best strategy for lasting job satisfaction and sustained drive is to recognize that your work is part of your purpose and to look at ways in which your needs can be met by the work you do. True leaders are not just doing a job. They are doing a purposeful job that fulfils their need for growth and contribution.
 
I invite you to examine the six human needs and ascertain which of them you value the most and how you go about meeting them. I also encourage you to ask the same questions with your team members in mind.

• Which two of the six human needs are most important to you?
• What are the ways (good and bad) in which you meet and balance these needs?
• In which ways can you use your profession to satisfy your need for grow and contribution so that you can increase your overall job satisfaction? 
• How can you help each member of your team to fulfill their top needs and increase their level of growth and contribution?

A successful project manager and leader is so much more than someone who is capable of producing a plan and track its activities. To be a leader, you must keep an eye on the vision, be able to navigate the unknown and focus on people as much as you focus on tasks. 

Your ability to build trusting and lasting relationships with your stakeholders is one of the key ingredients to becoming a successful project manager and leader. Read through the six principles below and ask yourself how you score on a scale from 1 to 10.

1. Seek first to understand before being understood
When you invest time in really understanding your stakeholders, the dynamics of the conversations and your relationships change. People become more open, receptive and more interested in what you may have to say when you actively engage and comprehend their situation. If you don’t listen properly, misunderstandings will invariably creep in and the quality of your relationships will weaken. Make every effort to really engage and understand the other person’s position. Make eye contact and ask into their feelings and opinions. Only when you fully understand their position should you speak up about your own topic and agenda.
 
2. Have empathy and think in win/win solutions
Empathy means being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand how they feel. View situations and responses from your stakeholder’s perspective and be committed to always finding solutions that will truly benefit all parties. The win-win idea is not based on compromise or on one of the parties giving up their position and need. It is rooted in the belief that synergies and mutual benefit can be drawn from every situation.

3. Set a good example as a project manager and leader
The quickest way to lose the respect of your stakeholders is to be a careless and unstructured project manager. On the contrary, your stakeholders will respect you for being an effective person who keeps taps on risks, issues, decisions and actions – including their own! Keep track of key decisions and hold stakeholders accountable for the activities they take on. Always turn up to meetings prepared and have the necessary information ready at hand.

4. Be honest and open about project progress 
Believe in yourself and be honest and open enough to say things the way they are. Never over-promise or feel pressurised to saying yes to unreasonable demands. Have the confidence and courage to talk openly about project issues and to ask for help when required. Your stakeholders will respect you for being honest and appreciate being given the chance to help out before the situation aggravates. You will score points for being realistic and for having your project’s interests at heart. Painting the picture rosier than it is helps no one.

5. Be proactive and take responsibility for your actions
Gain respect and admiration from your stakeholders by proactively resolving risks and issues in a resourceful way. When we are proactive we look for durable solutions and we take full responsibility for the consequences of our actions. We face the world with a can-do attitude and a mindset that we have the ability to change a situation for the better. You may have no control over what hits your project, but you do have control over how you respond.

6. Maintain a positive mental attitude 
Do your best to maintain a positive mental attitude. Be cheerful, friendly and smile. The positive energy you radiate will draw others to you and give your stakeholders the impression that you are in your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid to be funny or clever as most people are drawn to a person that can make them laugh. Use your sense of humour as an effective tool to lower barriers and gain people’s affection. Having said that, remember to always be respectful when you use humour. 

Questions for reflection

• How can you become a better listener and build better relationships?
• What can you do to be more proactive and more positive?
• In which situations to you need to get better at asking for help?

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Resistance to change is an interesting phenomenon that is often quoted as the number one reason why projects and change programmes don’t deliver the results they set out to. At its core, resistance to change is a label we apply when people seem unwilling to accept or help in implementing an organizational change. But oftentimes it isn’t the change itself that people resist. They resist because they believe they will lose something of value (such as status, belonging or competence) or because they fear they will not be able to adapt to the new ways. It is a big part of human behaviour to hold on to the status quo because it’s a safe port. Our brains are wired to keep us safe and to respond to potential danger. When we are faced with an organisational change our instinctive reaction kicks in because it makes us feel unsafe. We know what we have, but we don’t know what we will get.

Whereas junior project managers may not be so aware of the emotional side of change, leaders understand the importance of listening to people and ensuring that their needs are being met. Instead of exclusively dealing with tasks, activities and processes they delve into deeper layers and consider the psychological aspects. They draw people in, address their concerns and anxieties and demonstrate what is in it for each person. They know that most people resist change because they are uncertain about how it will affect them – whether consciously or subconsciously – and therefore seek to make them feel safe.

When Rod Willis researched why people resist change he found that in the majority of cases, leaders and managers don’t possess the necessary understanding of human psychology to effectively deal with the typical symptoms. He concluded that most managers operate at a capability level and fail to engage at a deeper level. This means that they consider what their team members are capable of doing and how they do it as a function of their skills, rather than considering why they do what they do and what they believe about themselves.

The majority of the resistance to change symptoms which Willis identified were a result of people’s values and beliefs, sense of identify and personal purpose not being met. People do not leave their emotions, doubt, fear or lack of trust at home. They bring them to work where they may be perceived as resistance. Willis concluded that there is a direct correlation between a manager’s ability to work at a deeper psychological level and bringing about successful change.

To make resistance disappear, we have to focus on building trust and removing doubt and fear. Overcoming resistance is about understanding people’s psychology and getting to the root of the opposition. This is a process, which will take time. According to Professor Eddie Obeng, resistance to change comes about when we go too fast. He says that the natural remedy is to go slower. He also suggests that we allow people to be part of the story and that we ask more questions. Questions are a great way to open up and allow co-ownership. 

There are several ways in which you can make people active participants in a change initiative and draw them into the story. You can for instance:

• Create surveys to elicit views and opinions from staff. 
• Set up discussion forums where ideas can be sourced and debated in a wider group.
• Give people a role to play by delegating part of the change process to those who will be affected by it.
• Appoint employee representatives and invite them to take part in executive decision-making meetings. 
• Facilitate workshops to develop a collective understanding of the issues, approaches and methods going into the change. 

The power of these methods is that they draw the employees into the process by engaging them, creating a dialogue and by giving them a role to play. It is no longer a one-directional flow where employees are simply being told what to do. Now, people feel that their input matters. They are being listened to and have become active participants who have real influence.


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​As COVID-19 has put most of the Western world in lockdown, managers, leaders and their teams are finding themselves with a plethora of new challenges. People have to quickly adapt to working from home, protect the physical and emotional well-being of themselves and others, revamp businesses to better serve the public and simply staying afloat.

When a crisis hits it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, to let our emotions run away with us and to get distracted by the many threats and limitations we face. And whereas our physical safety will always come first we have to be determined to not let fear dominate us. Out of crises and extreme threats can emerge incredible opportunities for individuals, organisations and for society as a whole. As we navigate our way through uncertainty, we must seek not just to overcome the crisis, but to learn and grow from it - and that’s exactly what good leaders help us do. 
 
Leaders always put people first
John Maxwell, author of 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership says that during a crisis, real leaders rise and become visible. They show up with openness, honesty and clarity and they always put people first. They ask What is best for the people? How can I lift them up? How can I serve and help them get through the crisis and get better from it?
 
With a solid focus on people, good leaders rise above the circumstances and see into the future. Their ability to manage their emotions helps them to stay focused and become ambassadors of hope. The key is to keep fear at bay and to not get emotionally caught up in the crisis. But how can the leader give hope to others and show up with clarity when things are so uncertain? In spite of not having all the answers and not knowing when the crisis will be over, leaders can convey that this too shall pass. They also put a great deal of effort into clearly communicating why they’re making the decisions they are. Being clear, honest and authentic is often more important than the decision itself. 
 
Together we will find a way through
Maxwell says that during a crisis people want authenticity more than they want perfection. The leader needs to always tell the truth and stay close to people. And it takes a great deal of courage to tell the truth and admit to not having all the answers. The crisis is an opportunity to set clear priorities, to leverage the team and to convey that together we will find a way through. That’s what hope is. Hope is saying that together we can make things better. It’s not the same as optimism, which is simply the belief that things will get better. It takes no courage to be an optimist but it takes great courage to have hope. 
 
During a crisis, great leaders stand out by inspiring people to develop the right perspective. They help people focus on what they can do and let go of what they cannot control. We cannot control the external events of a crisis but we cancontrol our choices and our responses. As Maxwell reminds us: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! It’s about getting the best out of the situation and using our creativity to solve new problems, to serve and to build wherever we can. This may be the time to review existing practices, to forge new relationships, to adapt and to innovate. Take this opportunity to put people first and to send a message of hope. Together we can overcome this crisis and we can make things better.

​
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​Project leadership: Challenge the status quo

Yin-leaders support; yang-leaders challenge
Yin symbolizes the feminine elements such as listening, supporting, coaching and maintaining stability. These are characteristics that are hugely important when establishing a high-performing team, especially in the early days when people don’t yet trust their own abilities or roles within the team. Project leaders use the supportive yin element to build the team’s confidence and develop skills that are lacking. They encourage collaboration and provide a safe environment for team members to work together and come up with their own solutions. 
 
Supportive yin-leaders have a deep respect for people and want to understand what drives and motivates each person. They often spend one-on-one time with team members, assisting them to grow and develop. They are good at praising people for a job well done and will often ask what type of help the individual needs. Yin leadership is enabling and is concerned with making it possible for others to flourish, lead and contribute. 
 
Yang, on the other hand, symbolizes the masculine element, which is challenging, demanding and factual. This side of leadership sets a high standard and expects the team to deliver to it. Yang leaders have a strong sense of direction. They are action-oriented and results-driven. They ask challenging questions, hold people to account and may come across as forceful. They are assertive, push the team to deliver to the best of its ability and expect nothing but excellence. 
 
It is the yang element that pushes the team to continuously improve and innovate, and the yin element that steps back and enables the team to do so. We could say that yin is a predominant heart-based approach, whereas yang is a predominant rational or head-based approach.
 
Project leaders use ample amounts of both yin and yang
Consider the below diagram. It shows that project leadership encompasses a high degree of yin as well as yang. Team members need both elements from their manager in order to perform and thrive. 

At the most fundamental level, the quality of your personal and professional life is determined by the quality of your core beliefs. The beliefs you have acquired throughout your life shape your attitudes, which in turn affect the actions and the results that you get, or don’t get. As Henry Ford said, ‘Whether you think you can or can’t, either way you are right’. 

As a project leader you have to take control of your internal world and thoughts so that they can influence your outer reality in a way that serves you and your team. The key is to foster a positive and empowering mindset, being aware of how you respond to situations and taking action without hesitation or self-doubt. A positive and empowering mindset is one where you clearly see situations the way they are; the positives along with the negatives. Instead of reacting emotionally to the negative aspects and letting them control you, you carefully assess the situation and consciously decide how to respond. 

Let’s examine what some of these empowering beliefs look like.

I believe in myself
As a project leadership coach I come across many project managers who feel that they are not good enough. They fear that they will be “found out” and that they will be fired because of incompetence. But in most cases these project managers are judging themselves unfairly – probably because of past events or because of the negativity bias that we all have. The feeling of inadequacy isn’t rooted in incompetence. It’s linked to an underlying lack of self-esteem. 

In order to act, behave and be perceived as a leader, you first have to believe in yourself. You will not come across as trustworthy, impactful and inspiring if you do not have a strong regard for yourself. You have to feel that you are worthy of achieving the things that you dream of, and you have to have absolute faith that as long as you take the necessary action, then you can be every bit as successful as everybody else. It is this undeniable belief in yourself and being willing to back yourself all the way that fuels your motivation and moves you to action. This belief in yourself is not about being arrogant, putting yourself above the team or compromising collaboration. It simply means that you feel love and compassion for yourself and that you feel worthy of being a leader. Feel this worth in every cell of your body and don’t leave the house in the morning until you feel a warm glow inside of you.

I choose my responses
One of the most empowering beliefs you can adopt is to know that you are in control of your responses and that you always have a choice. You may not have control over the things that happen to you, but you can control the meaning you assign to external events and how you respond to them. This is a very powerful and mature belief system because it means that you take full responsibility for your actions without having to deflect blame onto others. Essentially, this is about responding to situations rather than reacting to them. There is a subtle but important difference between the two. 

Reacting is an unconscious process where you experience and react to an emotional trigger without thinking twice about it. This could happen, for instance, if you always get angry when a team member delivers their work late – or if you get stressed whenever your client asks you to incorporate a new change request. 

Responding, on the other hand, is a conscious process that involves noticing how you feel and then deciding how you want to behave. Instead of showing your anger to a team member, count to 10 and choose the most appropriate response so that you don’t default to your automatic reaction. You could for instance explain to the team member how you feel and what the impact is when work is delivered late. You can then work with them to ensure that it doesn’t happen again. Likewise, if you work in a very busy, competitive and reactive environment, you can either see this as a reason to get stressed and feel that you have to emulate that behaviour, or instead you can define your own way of working based on what you know will be best for you and your team. 

As an emotionally intelligent leader you have to take responsibility for your emotions and the impact they have on your surroundings. When you manage your impulses and consciously choose your responses, not only do you set a good example, you also create a safe environment for your team to freely communicate and express their views.

I have faith that the right things will come to me as a result of my actions
Part of having a positive and empowering mindset is to trust that as long as you do what can reasonably be expected of you, then the right things will happen. There is no need to worry unnecessarily that things might not work out or to imagine what failure looks like. In fact, focusing too much on the things that you don’t want is likely to derail you because you attract the things that you focus on. This relates back to the filter between your unconscious and your conscious mind. It is your beliefs that determine your reality. If you believe you will fail, chances are that you will. Your only concern should be to take constructive action towards your project leadership goals, stay focused and have faith that the right things will happen as a result. If you encounter a risk, by all means mitigate it, but then let go of it. Spending time worrying about the things you cannot control is lost energy. Empower yourself by being proactive and by focusing on the right strategy and trust that success will follow.

I see the opportunity in every situation
A great way to set yourself and your project up for success is to make sure that you don’t get discouraged or distracted by the issues or obstacles that you come across. We all encounter issues, but the difference between successful people and those who are not is the way in which they deal with the unforeseen. As Albert Bandura said, ‘People with high assurance in their capabilities approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered rather than as threats to be avoided’.[i] When something unexpected happens, make sure you don’t use it as an excuse to do nothing or to backtrack. Instead, ask yourself how you can move forward in spite of the issues and which new opportunities have opened up as a result. Your job is to focus on the opportunity and the way forward rather than the obstacle itself.

Let’s look at an example. Let’s assume that your company unexpectedly had to downsize and that you were losing your job. How would you react? What would your focus be, what meaning would you assign to this event and what actions would you take? Would you panic and say to yourself that this is terrible/I’m a failure/how could they do it/it’s their fault? Or would you say to yourself that this is their loss/I could be better off somewhere else/this is an opportunity to learn and do something new? Would you let this unforeseen situation paralyze you, or would you focus on the opportunity it presents and decide how to best move forward? The point is that although you can’t control external events, you can control the mindset with which you react to them. All it takes is mindful practice.
 
There is no such thing as failure; only opportunities to grow and learn
An empowering mindset is also one in which we don’t let fear of failure hold us back. If you are afraid of stepping up and showing yourself as a leader out of fear that you are not good enough – or that others might laugh at you – then you won’t get very far. You need to alter your view of failure into something constructive and allow yourself to feel the fear and do it anyway. Your ‘failures’ provide the opportunity to learn and grow and will genuinely move you forward as long as you take on board the lessons. And besides, what is the worst that can happen? Wouldn’t it be better to have a setback and to learn from it rather than never to have tried? When you change your thinking pattern into one that doesn’t see failure, you take away an enormous chunk of negative energy and worry. You free yourself up to pursue that which is truly important – your progress and the successful delivery of your project.

When I decided to set up my own company and become an independent project leadership coach, I faced a huge amount of fear. I had been an employee for 17 years and never before run my own business. Would I be good enough? Would people want to work with me and would I be able to make money? It took me many months to overcome this fear and to not let it control me. I did as much as I could to prepare for my new venture, but at the end of the day I had to have faith that as long as I did what had proved to work for other successful entrepreneurs, I would be successful too. I reframed the situation and started to build up a new set of beliefs. I began to study some great entrepreneurs around me and stopped focusing on failure. In fact I began to see my business as an experiment that I would learn from, in one way or another, even if one day I were to go back into employment.

I am fully committed to doing what it takes
We have probably all come across people who are dreamers. They keep talking about their big plans but rarely get around to implementing them. An empowering mindset is one where we are focused and committed and where we consistently take action that moves us closer to the things we want. There is no space for doubt or procrastination. Becoming a project leader who adds value in everything that you do may not be achieved in a matter of days. It will take much longer and will require you to be fully committed to doing whatever it takes and to learn and refine your approach. Sure, there will be times when you lose sight of the overall goal, but your drive, commitment and positive frame of mind will quickly get you back on track. At the end of the day it is your grit that will keep you going.

Interestingly, Psychology Professor Angela Lee Duckworth has proved that grit is the most significant predictor of success – irrespective of the industry or job role you are in. She explains that grit is about stamina and having passion and perseverance for long-term goals. It is about sticking with your future, day in day out, not just for the week or for the month but for years and working really hard to make that future a reality.[ii]

All successful people have needed to rely on their determination to get to where they wanted. Thomas Edison attempted to invent the light bulb 999 times before he finally succeeded. And Colonel Sanders, the founder of KFC, traveled to four different states and had his recipe rejected hundreds of times before he found someone who accepted it. The key is to be willing to have setbacks and be wrong and to start over again with lessons learned.

You can read more about fostering a growth mindset here.

[i] Bandura, A (1994) Self-Efficacy, Encyclopedia of Human Behavior, 
New York, Academic Press. (Reprinted in H. Friedman [Ed.], Encyclopedia of Mental Health, San Diego, Academic Press, 1998) [Online] http://www.uky
.edu/~eushe2/Bandura/BanEncy.html
[ii] Duckworth, A (2013) The key to success? Grit, TED, [Online] http://www.ted
.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit