Susanne Madsen - Developing Project Leaders
  • Home
  • Services
    • Workshops
    • Speaking
    • Coaching
    • Testimonials
  • Bio
  • Books
  • Blog
  • Videos
  • Contact
  • Library
  • Resources

Building Self-Esteem

8/12/2011

23 Comments

 
Self-esteem is a state of mind that is self created. It is the way you think and feel about yourself and is related to how confident you are in your ability to cope with challenges. 
 
To be a strong and resourceful project manager who is respected by team members and stakeholders, you have to have enough self-esteem to naturally stand up for yourself, your team, and your project. You have to have enough faith in yourself and in your skills in order to comfortably make decisions and lead your team in the right direction. 
 
The more self-esteem you have, the stronger you will be and appear. This is not about being arrogant or headstrong. It is essential to balance confidence and humility. Self-esteem is simply about valuing your own contributions and believing in yourself. If you are able to do so, it will be easier for you to say no and push back when required. You will more easily be able to respond in calm, proactive, and resourceful ways.
 
As an example, imagine a situation in which a senior stakeholder asks you to deliver a product significantly earlier than planned. You know that your team will not be able to achieve this deadline without making drastic changes to scope and quality. You also know that the reason for this request is not business-critical and that incorporating such a drastic change at this point in time will end up costing the client more money and will cause the project to take longer overall. In this situation, many project managers would feel insecure and would bow to the stakeholder’s request without openly questioning it. They may want to question it but they do not have enough self-confidence and belief in themselves to do it.

One of the first steps in building self-esteem is to accept that you cannot please everyone and that your needs, rights, and feelings are as important as everyone else’s. Take a moment to assess if this is true for you.

Start to notice when you are being overly critical of yourself. Whenever it happens, stop for a moment, and reframe the situation. It is all too easy for us to focus on what we feel is missing. Challenge yourself to see the positive in each situation and what you have to bring to the table. Take credit for the tasks and activities you do well and actively start to leverage your strengths. If you truly struggle to value yourself, find a confident mentor or coach who you can work with. 
 
If there are skills you feel you are lacking, take a course, read a book, or learn from a co-worker. Do not ignore these feelings. Empower yourself by being proactive and doing something about them. 
 
A good way to build self-esteem is to practice appreciation—of yourself. Each day, notice what you do well as a person and as a project manager. Write these strengths down in a notebook, and find new areas and capabilities to appreciate every day. See yourself as the confident project manager and leader you want to be. 
 
Another action you can take is to compose a vision and mission statement and stick it in a place where you can easily see it. Make sure it is positive and appealing and that it puts emphasis on feeling good and being confident. For example:
 
“I feel confident and calm in everything I do as a project manager. I love and respect myself, and I value my uniqueness and my capabilities. My mission is to focus on my strengths and to have the confidence to withstand pressure from demanding stakeholders…”

Read your vision and mission statement as many times as you can during the day. Close your eyes and imagine being strong and confident. Really feel it in your body. This will help you create a new pattern where you feel and think differently about yourself.

It can take time to build self-esteem, but with the right support and willingness, you can change the way you feel about yourself more quickly than you think.

o Read uplifting and motivational books
o Spend time with confident people
o Notice and recognize your strengths, achievements, and uniqueness
o Ask others what they think your unique talent is
o Imagine being strong, positive, and confident
o Identify a self-confident role model and learn from him or her
o Set reachable goals, and break difficult tasks into smaller steps
o Write an empowering vision and mission statement and live by it
o Be objective and fair when assessing your capabilities 
o Work with a confident mentor or coach
 

                                              *******
 
Exercise
 
1. Think of a point in time when you felt really confident. Close your eyes and imagine it now. Where were you? What did you do? Who were you with?

2. Focus on the feeling you had in your body at that time. Where in your body did you feel a confident sensation? Be specific. Recall that feeling now.

3. Focus on this feeling in your body every day when you get out of bed and when you get to work. Try this exercise for a week and assess its impact.
 
4. Make it a habit to feel good and to appreciate your strengths and contributions.  


If you liked this post, you may also like:
My Story - Working Smarter; Not Harder!
Be a Project Champion
10 Tips for Handling Conflict
6 Principles for building trusting relationships with your  stakeholders



23 Comments

    Categories

    All
    Agile
    Authenticity
    Building Relationships
    Coaching
    Delegation
    Estimation
    Feedback
    Handling Conflict
    Innovation
    Iron Triangle
    Limiting Factor
    My Story
    Perception Of Failure
    Podcasts
    Positive Attitude
    Proactive Project Management
    Progress Reporting
    Project Costs
    Project Failure
    Project Initiation
    Project Leadership
    Project Management Mistakes
    Recruitment
    Requirements
    Resistance To Change
    Risk Management
    Self Esteem
    Stakeholder Management
    Stress Management
    Team Motivation
    Time Management
    Trust
    Vision And Mission

    Picture

    Susanne Madsen

    Susanne is a project leadership coach and the author of The Power of Project Leadership and The Project Management Coaching Workbook. She has over 20 years experience in leading large change programmes for global companies. Read more..

    Picture

    Register for FREE to get access to the RESOURCES page

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Archives

    February 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011

    View my profile on LinkedIn

    RSS Feed

Developing Project Leaders