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My Big Cry - Confronting my Limiting Factor

8/8/2012

8 Comments

 
In one of the sections of The Project Management Coaching Workbook – Six Steps to Unleashing Your Potential, I talk about the importance of identifying and removing our limiting factors. In the book I explain how a single constraint often sets the speed at which we achieve a goal and can have a negative impact on our ability to perform at our best. I also present the readers with an exercise that helps them address and challenge their limitations so that they can move to the next level and become truly successful project management leaders.

Over the course of my own professional life, I’ve addressed and overcome many limitations myself, and I’ve learnt how to work smarter rather than harder. But life is a continuous learning process, and I was recently confronted with another big limitation – my need for control - which resulted in a rather big and very cleansing cry!

The incident happened at a seminar with about 200 other people. It was a three-day business event designed to help us accelerate in our professions. About six hours into the first day the facilitator took us through a guided meditation which lasted about 15 minutes. The purpose of the meditation was to help us visualise that which we wanted to achieve in our professional lives and to let go of any conscious or unconscious fears we might have. In my case I visualised how I needed to change my ways of working in order to reach more project managers. I want to help as many project managers as possible to get to the next level without the experience of project failure, excessively long hours and negative stress.
 
Inside the room everyone had their eyes closed, the lights were dim and a very powerful and inspirational tune was playing. The facilitator asked us to imagine where we would be 3 months from today, then 6 months and finally 3 years. We were asked to float outside of our bodies and see ourselves from high up in the sky – and to keep moving further and further away. At one point I was way out there. I couldn’t even see my body any more. I felt so good and I was so close to my dream. I felt I could achieve anything. 

But whist I was floating around in outer space feeling near perfect, I got overwhelmed by a fear of stepping away from that which is known  to me and into the unknown. You see, as a project manager I’m a bit of a control freak. I like to be on safe ground and the thought of fundamentally redefining how I work – and possibly having to give up my day job in order to effectively reach and help more project managers – filled me with uncertainty and unease. On the one hand I saw the beauty and the potential, and on the other I saw the reality of my fears and I understood that my need for control was holding me back. 
 
My body started to shake and tears were dripping from my face. I was being confronted with one of my biggest limiting factors and I couldn’t stop sobbing!

The truth is that most of us are uncomfortable moving away from something we know well and into a place where we have not been before. In some instances we overcome the discomfort and do it anyway - for instance when we wrap up the old project and start a new one. But in other instances we let our fear control us and stop us – for instance when we dream of switching sector or moving to a foreign country. In these situations we have to show strength and determination and remind ourselves that in order to get something we never had, we have to do something we never did – and by definition that means moving into the unknown. 

We only really grow and learn when we embrace the unknown. That is not to say that we have to jump into it with our eyes closed. But we have to accept that we cannot remove all uncertainly even with the best risk management.

So, let’s relinquish a bit of our control. It’s okay to be on shaky ground and it’s okay not to have all the answers. It’s even okay to fail; some would say that it’s essential. So let’s not hold ourselves back being that which we really want out of fear of failure or fear of the unknown. As the adage goes; Feel the fear and do it anyway!

- Which things do you currently avoid doing out of fear? 
- 
What would it take for you to start accepting and overcoming this fear?
- How can you gradually start to expand your comfort zone and take one step towards that which you really want? 
 


To read more about how you can overcome your limiting factors as a project manager, get hold of The Project Management Coaching Workbook - Six Steps to Unleashing Your Potential


If you liked this post, you may also like:
My Story - Working Smarter; Not Harder
Be a Project Champion 
6 principles for building trusting and lasting relationships 
with your stakeholders

Create a Highly Motivated Team  
Delegate Effectively and Thouhtfully 

 
8 Comments
KUMAR
3/1/2013 22:24:38

Wow! What a great story. I am reading your coaching book and it is really helping me to become a better more focused project manager.

One question - Could you give us some more details about the guided meditation that your group did? What kind of affirmations were used etc. would love to make it a part of my daily routine. Thanks!

Reply
Susanne Madsen link
5/1/2013 10:05:59

Thank you for your comments Kumar.

I'm pleased The Project Management Coaching Workbook is helping you to become a more focused project manager. That's what it is all about. Well done!

With regards to the guided meditation I attended, I was in part trance I think, and so don't consciously remember which exact words were used. The technique however is based on allowing yourself to freely and fully imagine your goal - and feeling that you are achieving it. Close your eyes and really FEEL the success in your entire body. Don't let your logical mind stop you with lots of excuses and negative thoughts. Just allow yourself to BE your goal for a while.

If you want to incorporate any such imagery into your daily routine, I suggest you sit quietly with your eyes closed and focus on your breathing just after you awake in the morning. Imagine your day the way you want it. Feel confident and at ease. Imagine it while you sit there quietly at home in the morning. Focus on imagining and FEELING those things that you want to achieve that day (for instance being confident, loving, focused, smiling, relaxed, assertive - or whatever is relevant to you). When you imagine it you can do it. When you imagine it your brain thinks that you are ALREADY doing it, which makes it all much easier to follow through with :-)

Let me know how you get on.
Susanne

Reply
for more details link
13/6/2013 05:33:22

The six steps described in this article to improve our potential are really helpful. The coaching provided here to develop as a good project manager is really admirable. I agree to your point that it is uncomfortable for most people to move away from well known things. Project management is one of the most important developing careers today and I am sure that your six steps are helpful to bring the cream out of project managers.

Reply
statement of purpose job application link
22/6/2013 23:20:09

Excellent posts to read keep it up and keep going on this way. And keep sharing these types of things Thanks and I read your article and I keep reading your content.. It’s very interesting..

Reply
STRAIGHTENING MACHINE link
22/7/2013 06:26:10

Could you give us some more details about the guided meditation that your group did? What kind of affirmations were used etc. would love to make it a part of my daily routine. Thanks!

Reply
Susanne Madsen link
29/7/2013 04:54:01

Thank you for your question. Incorporating affirmations into your daily routine is an excellent idea.

This particular visualisation exercise was used to make us imagine that which we truly wanted to achieve and to recognise our true potential. I don't recall the exact words which were used as I was not listening with my logical mind.

The affirmations you choose to say every day will depend on what you want to achieve. A suggestion is to start your day by centering yourself. Sit on the floor with your eyes closed and take a couple of deep breaths. Then repeat any of the following:

- I feel strong and powerful in my body and in my mind.
- I am ready for whatever challenges the day may bring.
- Whenever I feel stressed, I slow down; I smile and I breathe.
- I know that my true purpose is to ... (fill in the gap)
- My vision and my mission is to ... (fill in the gap)

You can read more about creating a vision and a mission statement here: http://www.susannemadsen.co.uk/1/category/vision%20and%20mission/1.html

Many kind regards,
Susanne

Reply
speelautomaten online link
25/7/2013 08:53:30

This book admires me first of all by its considerable research content on different aspects of our activity. Most of all I've been amazed by your consideration about the importance of identifying and removing our limiting factors. It helps me greatly to perform at my best. Thank you a lot for sharing it with us.

Reply
lawn link
27/9/2013 04:39:23

We only really create and learn when we embrace the unidentified. That is not to say that we have to bind into it with our eyes closed. But we have to believe that we cannot remove all uncertainly even by means of the best risk organization

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